Bartending Brethren

Following what I think was a screaming success, feeling the need to explain to the masses what it is about being a bartender.  So what is it anyways?  All guys want to do it, and all the chicks want to be with one.  First let's cover the later of that statement first.  Why do you women want to be with one in the first place?  We're egotistical, self-centered, selfish, non-committal, creatures of habit, drunks (in most cases), with a drug habit (again, in most cases).  YES! Sounds like a person I want to be with for sure!

For the guys who all want to be one....see that previous statement and that's probably why we all start out being a bartender.  Then you actually become one and here is what you signed up for; dealing with obnoxious drunkards (other than yourself), entertaining crazy asses (when I mean crazy, I mean they need medical attention) trying to keep them away from your "normal" guests, real late nights, cleaning a old disgusting bar, putting up with servers who don't know what a captain coke even is, an unquenchable thirst for debauchery of every kind (I have a wife and kids now, so I'll keep it somewhat censored), throwing out "that guy" for puking all over your bar and someone else's shoes, listening to some lame ass excuse why they forgot or don't have their ID, put up with douche bags looking for a free drink....all the time, people whistling or throwing something or tapping their glass on the bar top at you because their thirsty when your 5 deep at the bar and can't understand why you aren't serving him/her.....etc. etc. You get my drift.

But dealing with all this shit makes you realize something, maybe not until much later in your career behind the bar, all of us behind the bar no matter where you are, are one big family.  You gain a respect and appreciation for everyone that does what you do.  It's a brethren of sorts, almost cult-like.  We put up with shit that no one ever would at their jobs.  We do make piles of money, but all of us question ourselves with this question: "Is this really worth it?" and yet you keep coming back for more.

I've realized over my 17 years behind a bar/in the restaurant biz some of my best friends, closest relationships and is where I met my wife, have all happened because of this industry.  We establish relationships that are unbreakable and it's all because of the business we're in and we're all in it together.  I love what I do, I have a passion for making the perfect cocktail, but that is second nature to what I'm in this business for and that is for relationships.  Be it professional, personal or otherwise.  I love meeting people and listening to their stories and experiencing "life" to it's fullest with people I've been in the trenches with.  It's an unhealthy relationship I have with bartending, but one relationship that I would never part with because of the people I've met and got to know over the years and it has rewarded me both professionally and most importantly personally with a beautiful loving wife and two amazing daughters.

Only a very small percentage of us can be bartenders.  Everyone wants to be us, but not everyone can be successful at it or have the make-up to be like us.  We're not liquor dispensers (although it seems like it at times), we are bartenders.  Where do people go to forget about their problems?....the bartender.  Where do people go when they want to have a great time?......the bartender.  Where do people go for free psychiatric help?...the bartender.  You see we do more than make drinks.  That part of our job is actually less important than others in our profession.  We bear a much heavier burden; we’re a chemist, host/hostess, entertainer, psychiatrist, enforcer, surrogate kin, social enabler, and keeper of the hearth.  To a guest, we are no less than the gatekeeper of paradise.

Let's break down the true definition of bartender.  Bar is short for barricade; a place where one goes to disassociate themselves with the outside world, and escape from everyday problems.  Tender literally means kindness.  So it is our duty to ensure our patrons needs, wishes and problems are attended to with a gentle sincerity and kindness.  One could say, that without the bartender there is no tenderness or kindness at the bar.  A friend of mine were sitting around (a bottle of Grand Marnier probably) solving the worlds problems one evening and he said something that I will never forget, and it was this "bartending is ALL about making great cocktails, telling great stories and meeting great lifelong friends."  Cheers, brother, cheers!